my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He shit in the fireplace
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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