dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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