i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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