similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
