The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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