I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
