gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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