I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
