Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
