i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
