Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
