Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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