are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
