The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
