just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
