at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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