Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize