Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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