I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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