I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
