have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
