My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
