YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
