I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
