Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
