just tell him i said nine months
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize