I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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