I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
