k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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