i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We have so much sex to catch up on
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
