So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
