We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
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He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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