dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
