haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
