WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
