I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
