in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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