so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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