she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
