Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
