I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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