I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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