3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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