when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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