it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
