since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
