It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
