It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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