are you still at the devil's house?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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