you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
