So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
