My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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