maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
