he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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