I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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