Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Acid is not a monday night drug
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
