i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
