There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
